Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.-Jack Handy
If nothing ever goes to plan, why plan?
-Alan Kelly
We arrived At St. Teresa's Hospice, Darlington in good time for the official start of Poor Circulation at 11am Wed. 23rd, St Georges day. The beaming smiles of all the staff and patients really brightened up an otherwise wet and overcast day.
During an interview for local BBC Radio Tees, (yes us on the rager!) Geoff's bike was left running for ambience. A crowd of photographers waved us on, well me anyway until I noticed Geoff in hysterics after realising leaving the bike running was the last straw for the battery!
We looked like a crowd of commuters trying to board the last bus, running behind Geoff's bike. A set of borrowed jump leads did the trick and soon we were off....to the nearest bike shop.
White Bros (Honda) Darlington supplied a charged battery, and charged cost price, only £21. Top blokes! By this time we realised Scotland may well have been as far away as Russia. There was no way we could ride there and get to the lakes in the same day, at least not at our more than youthful ages...
I wasn't my usual jovial self after misplacing my phone at Squires, and not realising until we stopped at Penny Garth Cafe, Hawes. Daz offered to ride back there on his way to Whitby the following Saturday, and post the phone home for me, a true 'Diamond Geezer' as we say dahn sahf. Luckily my brother Steve and wife Nicky were on their way to meet us at Boot in Eskdale Cumbria the following day, and would get it on his way. That's what brothers are for, it's their job.
I used my Garmin Zumo satnav for the first time, finding Wrynose and Harknott pass on our way to Boot in Eskdale. I was using a Scala Rider bluetooth headset, fine for vocal instructions or talking on the phone, but useless for music and very irritating so I've opted for a pair of noise cancelling headphones, excellent sound quality but I must remember to unplug before leaving the bike!
The sun was shining and the ride over Hardknott was let's say, 'entertaining' with a loaded bike. I performed my second ever unintentional wheelie. Was I bothered in the least? Well yes, but my slightly 'over-pied' frame soon equalised the weight distribution.
Martyn and Sue of Hollins Farm Campsite welcomed us and kindly allowed us two nights free camping. We always stay there every year simply because it's the perfect campsite in a perfect location. It's close to three pubs, including the Boot Inn who serve what we still believe to be the best pies in the world! Even if you don't have a tent, you can stay in a converted barn that sleeps up to eight, or one of the camping pods. You don't even have to be a member.
For more info-http://www.siteseeker.co.uk/aspx/details.aspx?id=9030
After a night of removing the 'ale' from Eskdale, I lent Geoff (4'9'') my 'Tilbury credit card' to siphon some fuel for the morning cuppa. It didn't work so a manual effort ensued. If I had my phone, Guinness would've been called there and then to register the world record for litres per gob of finest unleaded. If only I had my camera handy to capture the beautiful rainbow as the sun shone through millions of tiny droplets ejected from the purple human fountain. Not the best time to discover 97 RON is in fact clear, therefore difficult to see approaching along a clear tube. I suggested he should 'smirk a tab' so when he yawned, I could do some toast.
My sides ached for a while but at least I could keep warm by the bonfire, entertained as Geoff (3'11'') ran amok searching for something suitable to extinguish an overfilled stove.
Peace and tranquillity was soon restored, and while waiting for the local shop to cook the bacon rolls, we strolled along the river past the Eskdale corn mill. One of the few remaining two-wheeled mills dating back to 1578, still running as a visitor attraction.
Steve and Nicky soon arrived and I was reunited with close members of my family, when he handed me my phone.
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