Pessimism blunts the tools you need to succeed.

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. ~Mark Kennedy



Sochi, we've decided, will be our entry point for Russia. After suffering the heatwave over Easter here in England, (I knew things were hotting up when the snow turned to sleet) we thought we deserved more and picked a route through Greece and Turkey, following the coast of the Black Sea to Trabzon. From there a relaxing 12hr ferry crossing to the spectacular location of Sochi on the coast of the Black Sea and at the foot of the Caucasus Mountains in southern Russia. The International Olympic Committee has designated Sochi as the host city of the 2014 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games. Thanks to this decision, Russia will host its first ever Winter Games, so I'm hoping it's not going to look like a building site when we arrive!
Originally, we had planned to ride north crossing Bulgaria and Romania, as I wanted to visit Bran Castle high in the Carpathian mountains. This is a former residence of Prince Vlad Tepes The Impaler, or Dracula to you and me. But as Geoff is, let's say 'chronologically gifted,' he requested a more southerly route across warmer climes. I had to agree. Although this means we will bypass Georgia, a ferry will at least give us a break from riding and a chance to relax before we take the plunge into Russia. Knowing my luck the ferry will take the plunge into the depths of the Black Sea...ah well in for a penny. (I wonder if that's the name of Rod Stewart's house?)
The ferries across the black sea are a cause for some trepidation, after reading that many of them have been hijacked. But then, we were riding across Georgia around the coast to avoid Chechnya anyway, so either way Sochi was a definite destination. If you believe all that you read, you would think we were motorcycling around the world, when really we will be soaking up the sun in Miami for six months....(did I type that out loud?)

Despite Geoff's favoured pretence at being Tarzan of the concrete jungle, he convinced me to purchase a sat-nav, if only as an excuse for him to unleash his pent up torrent of abuse, usually savoured by fellow technologically advanced citizens of London, blissfully unaware of his suffering at the hands of someones obvious topographical errors on his well worn map. So, I'm now the proud owner of a Garmin Zumo 550, the self proclaimed 'Daddy' of motorcycle sat-navs. It has full coverage of every European country, so at least it will know exactly where we are, but I'm still going to use a map as well until it earns it's trust. Never put all your eggs in one motorcycle pannier. The Zumo can still be of use across Russia, as it has an 'off road' setting, a compass, and many other useful toys. If it helps us to get to far eastern Russia, at least I can say it got my Bering Strait.

Rules are for fools and a guide for the wise

The only thing you can influence in life, is what you are about to do. - Alan Kelly







I always wondered why the future seemed to happen to me while I was doing something else. Sedated by endless routine, existing instead of living. Suddenly you're ten years older. If you love life, don't waste time, make it memorable, what else do you have? If you live freely in the moment then time constraints cease to exist. You're not worrying about the past or the future. This is the time of your life.

You cannot be prepared for every eventuality, but we will carry as many spares as we can, some of which are a legal requirement in some countries, and a good first aid kit. We both have basic first aid training but I may have to draw the line at mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 'See that Bears game last night? Helluva game!' I think it's more important to have a well prepared mind. Panicking at every mishap will invariably lead to the wrong decision. I'm sure if 'Elf & Safety' had anything to do with it, we would be carrying two 750mm direction arrows, a road narrows sign, a minimum of six cones and a 'chimps at work' sign. After filling out the on-site risk assessment, we would have spent twice as long on site as necessary, therefore doubling the risk and more likely needing to fill in a 'near miss' report. Not to mention a full catalogue of 'Mind how you go' equipment. After the Hatfield rail disaster, ridiculous speed limits were introduced to increase safety. Unfortunately passengers arrived home so late most took to commuting by car thus increasing their danger. My personal safety has always been a top priority, especially riding a motorcycle, but I can't understand why we all have to live by stringent rules designed from the lowest common denominator i.e. the thickest idiot. An example from our last 'elf & safety' meeting was to inform us that it gets dark earlier during the winter, and colder so wear warm clothing and eat a good breakfast and lunch. During the summer, daylight lasts longer and due to the warmer temperature you should drink more water! I was still living on Earth last time I checked, so I already know these things! If I was an employer, I would suggest not employing personnel that stupid to greatly reduce the risk to the rest of us in the first place!

I love working on the highways really, even if I have already tendered my resignation, so I can discover where all these roads actually lead. My last day will be Friday 18th April. I've never been out of work before and here I am giving up a perfectly well paid job just so I can ride my bike. No sense? Nonsense!

We will ride during the day, stop at points of interest, eat when we are hungry and sleep when we get tired. If we have a breakdown, then that is simply an unscheduled break. Life happens around you, adjust and go with the flow. Some people will laugh at such foolishness, preferring the comforts of double glazed isolation, soap operas and heated towel rails, but the wise will understand. We all live under the same sky, but our needs are different.

I'm still considering a sat-nav. I've never needed one before but it's benefits are tempting. Maps tend not to list bikers favourite routes, points of interest, pie vendors, or play mp3s. Maybe the extortionate price will actually save us money, rather than relying on our often opposite senses of direction. Should the worst happen, no local pies for example, I feel safer knowing I have our exact position to give to our rescuers. We both think it's a good idea to have one between us, especially if it's me so Geoff gets an opportunity to give me a public stoning, accusing me of selling my soul to witchcraft, and spears are better than shrink wrapped bacon etc. After admitting the real reason for not getting one is insufficient time for him to learn how to use it. I've already got an indestructible waterproof map, but within it's robust design, a distinct lack of 'B' roads, rendering it useless off the beaten track. Besides, Geoff is taking a laptop so it's only fair that I also have a gadget to play with.

If anyone wishes to bid us farewell in person, even if it's hurling abuse or preferably money, you may do so at the Ace Cafe 7pm Monday 21st April, where we will be trying to convince the 'Riders Digest' team the best thing to boost their circulation is to print the 'Poor Circulation' trials and tribulations. Hopefully our Russian visas can be collected before Wednesday 23rd (Details, schmetails) as it is the official start of 'Poor Circulation' leaving St. Teresa's Hospice Darlington at 10am. Onwards and upwards to bonnie Scotland, down to the Lakes for a day or two, Wales for a day or two, then home to iron out any problems. Farleigh Hospice Chelmsford is our last port of call Wednesday 30th April, before our intermediate port of call Folkestone campsite, a favorite of Geoff's, before our first port of call Dover Thursday 1st May, to our second port of call Calais. This is for me, where the journey really begins. Other than an entry and exit date for the Russian visas, June 1st, exiting within ninety days, we have no rigid schedule.

This is what I call freedom.

Deux tartes, s'il vous plait

Alcohol, the cause and solution to, all
life's problems. - Homer Simpson
Poor circulation HQ has been the usual hive of inactivity until now. This week we received many deliveries from 'Parcel Marceau' some attempted, some successful and some left with neighbours. We now have most of the things we need, mostly due to the generosity of Frank and Liz at http://www.triumph-online.co.uk/,
Graham at http://www.bykebitz.co.uk/,
David at http://www.motohaus.com/ and http://www.wemoto.com/.

Talk about Christmas come early! They have all saved us a small fortune on spares and accessories for the bikes and their help will go a long way in helping our journey succeed. The further we get the more publicity we can get for them and raise awareness for the Hospices. Every one's a winner!
Geoff is currently pulling his hair out trying to secure the Russian visas, flapping around and cursing like Icarus....while I'm sorting through the boxes of equipment wondering how we can fit it all on the bikes....

We can't carry everything we want on a bike, but we can carry everything we need. That's one of the many reasons why I chose a Triumph Tiger. Not a 1970's Tiger Cub like Ted Simon rode around the world on (read Jupiter's travels) but a 2006 Tiger 955i. It has an excellent carrying capacity, a 24lt fuel tank, over 50mpg and most importantly can accommodate a man of my stature. Few people even realise Triumph are still being manufactured, after being bought by a successful property developer John Bloor in the late 80's, they have been completely re-designed and built in a new state-of -the-art factory in Hinckley, Leicesterchire. That was, until it burnt down. Now after a rebuild, it's the most modern motorcycle factory in the world. 40.000 bikes a year are made, and they are deliberately 'over engineered' to ensure they never leak oil, unlike the original bikes' reputation. The fuel injected triple engine is more reliable than most of the Japanese competition, and even BMW. (more Tigers are sold in Germany than the equivalent BMW) The Tiger is a 'dual purpose' bike, but the later models such as ours, are almost totally road biased. Just like us then. But we can ride off the beaten track if we have to, ideal to recce campsites in the purest 'poorcirculation' style, and that will be a 'trial' in itself. This will prove to be entertaining as we have precious little 'off road' experience. My idea of a dual purpose bike is 'go & stop.'
As for European language barriers, we considered an electronic 'speaking' translator, but over the last few months we have been learning the subtle differences between Geordie and Estuary and seem to be communicating much better now. This is by no means easy, for example Geoff aired his concerns for the environment and concluded he was gangrene due to global warming. Also at the pub known as 'The Lercal' some confusion arose when he asked for 'Two eels, eye.' Then he announced he was losing his sense of humour by saying he was giving up smirking. Small problems, but often overcome by the simple use of universal hand signals which I'm sure, will bode us well across Europe. Russian checkpoints and border crossings may prove more difficult, even if the guards speak English. I doubt they could understand Geoff's pronunciation, and given his penchant for army surplus equipment, drastically increases the likelihood of him being shot on sight. Especially as I've put an MI5 sticker on his back.
However, a picture says a thousand words, so I shall be purchasing a universal picture dictionary. I won't tell Geoff, so he will be suitably impressed at my language prowess. Let the gesticulation commence!

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes....

Apologies for not updating my blog for a while. In my last entry I mentioned that technology is only as reliable as those who design it. Two days later my PC unceremoniously destroyed itself. Fortunately, my Dad has a laptop I can borrow when he's not using it. Not very often then... Only recently had I said how awkward it would be if I lost all my trip planning and contacts, this close to departure. I have learned from previous experience how important it is to backup files regularly onto DVDs. But, I discovered my last backup didn't include the all important 'World trip' file. How I laughed as I discovered a simple 'El Cheapo' power supply, commonly used in bargainous PCs, and specifically designed to break 24hrs after the guarantee runs out. A simple case of transplanting all the useful parts into my older, and much better, hand built PC. Unfortunately this was sold to a friend two weeks earlier, as I needed the money for the trip. This 'friend' still owes me £50.

Against my better judgement, I entered my local PC shop with a view to fixing mine on the cheap. I only need a PC until I leave so it's not worth spending money for something that will have little use, and be obsolete when I return. Needless to say, the shop owner didn't have what I required, couldn't understand how to dismantle the 'pretty' components, allowed me the use of his magnetic (!!) screwdriver, offered a useless alternative and left me to re-assemble it. I was smiling through gritted teeth, but before I could say 'You're incompetent, that's incompatible', my talents were required to fix his 'new fangled Windows Vista' laptop, then explain to him how re-install programs and restore his settings, and even give advice to a customer when he couldn't! How people like him can run a business is beyond me. Honestly, the wheel's still turning but the hamster is dead! Apart from an almost complete sense of humour bypass, I've had a good weekend.

It's frustrating having to rely on other people at the best of times. Computers can be very useful Geoff, just take off your 'Procrastinate Now!' T-shirt and get the bikes rolling mate.

I've learnt the main difference between us two; Geoff says 'I'm sure everything will be fine...'
I say 'I'm making sure everything will be fine...'

I think it's finally dawning on him just how important it is to plan all the little details, now that he can't leave it all to me....

On the plus side, we successfully applied for our International Driving Permits, having to apply in person to Chelmsford main post office as they are the only local office that issues them for some unknown reason. These next few weeks will be busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but I'm sure everything will be fine....