As we prepared to leave the hotel in Chita, Geoff dropped a bombshell. He'd had enough of me and wanted to ride alone. I'd been no help to him and he was quite rightly fed up of carrying me. All I did was bring him down. He was right. He was always organised and I was a mess. Russia had been difficult for me, as were alot of aspects of travelling that I never expected to encounter, especially the most important one, finding out who you really are.
I'd been so worried about everything I'd lost all confidence and felt totally useless. The guilt of letting Geoff do everything and worrying, I didn't even realise how blinkered I'd become. I had no excuse, he was right, I never would've got this far without him and I was panicking. I really didn't want to take the train. The Amur highway may beat me but I have to try. Three crashes so far didn't help me but I was still here and the bike was ok.
Now that I was fully aware of the problems I was causing I could do something about it. I should be Geoff's backup on this trip, not get his back up! I was surprised he agreed to let me tag along if I promised to start pulling my weight. I had to change, get back to my old self. I knew I could and I promised to make the rest of the trip an enjoyable one. Why I couldn't do such a simple thing right from the start is a mystery to me. I was confident when we set off from England, but stupid enough to let things get on top of me, riding the bike was the easy bit....
We left Chita along 200km of scenic tarmac before the gravel started. This is where I would have to prove to myself that I could do this. The Triumph is big and heavy and not suited to off road at all. Just like myself! The first part wasn't too bad. I ridden on worse, slowly my confidence grows, maybe I could make it after all? I thought of all the other bikers riding across the highway, laughing at my ineptitude, but we all have to start somewhere and this road will either kill or cure me.
I'd been so worried about everything I'd lost all confidence and felt totally useless. The guilt of letting Geoff do everything and worrying, I didn't even realise how blinkered I'd become. I had no excuse, he was right, I never would've got this far without him and I was panicking. I really didn't want to take the train. The Amur highway may beat me but I have to try. Three crashes so far didn't help me but I was still here and the bike was ok.
Now that I was fully aware of the problems I was causing I could do something about it. I should be Geoff's backup on this trip, not get his back up! I was surprised he agreed to let me tag along if I promised to start pulling my weight. I had to change, get back to my old self. I knew I could and I promised to make the rest of the trip an enjoyable one. Why I couldn't do such a simple thing right from the start is a mystery to me. I was confident when we set off from England, but stupid enough to let things get on top of me, riding the bike was the easy bit....
We left Chita along 200km of scenic tarmac before the gravel started. This is where I would have to prove to myself that I could do this. The Triumph is big and heavy and not suited to off road at all. Just like myself! The first part wasn't too bad. I ridden on worse, slowly my confidence grows, maybe I could make it after all? I thought of all the other bikers riding across the highway, laughing at my ineptitude, but we all have to start somewhere and this road will either kill or cure me.
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