If you should find yourself in nowhere, you should know where to find yourself. - Alan Kelly.As I lay awake early on Sunday, wondering why the sun never ceases to rise every morning as a relentless reminder of the passage of time, it suddenly dawned on me. In these last few weeks planning this trip I have forgotten the fundamental reason. I've been busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond and haven't taken the time to ride my bike anywhere. After all, how many more sunrises can I hope to see? The following events that followed my following thoughts followed a swift phone call as follows-
'Geoff, I think today must be 'Pie day'
'I couldn't agree more Al, see you at 11.30.'
There is something to be said for modern bike clothing. My new triple layer winter kit kept me a little too warm even though the frost hadn't yet cleared. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as I carved my way along the narrow twisting lanes towards Broxted. Now I remember, this is what being alive feels like, in a way only motorcyclists can understand. At least in winter you don't catch bugs in your grin. Geoff followed at an exaggerated safe distance, he really should trust me more. Pie first, then photos. It was a perfect day until the discovery of a nice pub, with a distinct lack of pie. I suppose change is as good as a rest, unfortunately when I paid the bill the barman had no concept of the word 'change'.
There is a little known route to the end of the runway at Stansted where we could park the bikes for an 'arty' photo session. If you know of 'Elsenham Still Artesian Bottled Spring Water' located at Green street Elsenham, follow Green street to the end and you will be parked at the end of the runway at Stansted airport. It was only a mile from the pub so we swapped bikes for a test ride. Strange how two identical bikes can feel so different.
'I don't like this and that' said Geoff.
'Me neither, and yours also is generally poxy' I replied. 'Swap back? Ok!'
We hoped to photograph the bikes with a plane coming in to land in the background. Unfortunately the planes were taking off in the opposite direction than usual, so were too high for a good photo. As reliable as Geoff remembering to charge the camera batteries. Apart fom that, we had a successful day.
If you are unaware of Elsenham water, bottled at source from a pure confined aquifer, (a chalk borehole to you and me...) it was the world most expensive uber-premium water in 2005 at £30 for a 750ml hand polished, French fashion designed, trademark capped bottle. I mean who actually wants 'House Water' these days? At an average price of 96p a litre it's a little 'too available' when you would hope to have something more 'Glacial' or 'Mountainous' and 100.000 times more expensive? Naturally Geoff and I are arranging to have a regular airdrop of this finest of 'Stumbled On Searching For A Water Leak In My Jam Factory, Borehole Created In 1890, Used As A Well In 1919, Abandoned In The Sixties After It Broke, Purest Artesian Still Water From An Essex Industrial Estate.' If there was ever a story of all's well, that ends well, I suppose this is it. Personally, whilst dining at El Bulli, the worlds finest multi-Michelin starred Catalan restaurant, it's still perfectly permissible to ask for a jug of tap water. The only cost you'd incur would be the potential disdain of neighbouring diners.
Currently I believe the most expensive water is 'Bling H2o' at £40 a bottle. Some Hollywood 'celebs' even buy it for their dogs, allegedly.
These people are exactly the type I would like to give a guided tour of Farleigh hospice to, so that they may see how donating the price of a bottle of water could make a huge difference to someones life.
You won't add days to your life by drinking overpriced spring water, so maybe you could fill a bottle with tapwater and donate what you may spend on 'Eau Naturelle' to help Farleigh Hospice add life to their patients days.
I've made it easy for you, please visit my fundraising page-http://www.justgiving.com/alankelly1
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